Change

Since becoming a mom, I just have felt this wave of change over me. Not in a bad way, but I am just different, Z's and I relationship is different, just life seems so much more deep and has meaning. I have always wanted to be a mom. When people would ask me what I wanted to be when I  grew up, that is what I said. I am thankful that God has chosen us to be parents and have blessed  us with Lucy, but it is so different than what I imagined.

I am a person that like structure and a routine...ha! I can throw that out the window as every day is different with Lucy. Like right now, it is almost two in the afternoon and as she sleeps I am sitting at the computer, not showered, still in pajamas, and listening to the washing machine churn away as I have piles of laundry around our home to attend too. My house is not clean, and my junk drawer has now expanded to two.  This is so different for me, and even though I am screaming on the inside of these little things... I am letting it go. Cuddles with Lucy are so much more important right now as I will never get this time back with her.

Z and I find ourselves talking diapers, breastfeeding, and falling asleep as we watch a show on TV at 9pm.  We have only left the house, together and without Lucy, three times, and we no longer run errands together and go out for coffee on a Saturday morning.  Even though our communication has changed, I wouldn't trade it for the world. After going through having a child and seeing Z in the hospital  and just how he looks at Lucy and her at him, it melts my heart. The way he looks at me, his admiration for me now (not that it wasn't there before) is amazing. And mine for him. He is a great dad of patience, unconditional love, and sweetness.  So, even though we don't kill time together as much, our love for each other is so deep. I used to always hear people say it, but it is so true. I love him more each day.

The biggest change with having Lucy is well, Lucy! She is a sweet girl that smiles so  big she squeaks! I cannot wait to hear her laugh. She is precious, but when she wants something, she will let you know. She is so observant and loves exploring the world around her. She doesn't care that I am in my pajamas all day, she doesn't care that I have not showered for the day, and she loves her puppy and his kisses. Lucy is such a little blessing. I do not have one complaint about this girl... she is pretty neat, and I cannot wait to see what she becomes!

As the past ten weeks have brought many changes, more are to come. The next challenge... going back to work. ahh!! I am dreading this so much, but at the same time looking forward to it. I don't know what it will be like, but I am thankful for a flexible job that allows me to still be a hands on mom. I am grateful for my mom who gets to watch Lucy during the day... so blessed.

Ok, blah blah blah... I am writing a lot, but I really should go get that shower! Here are some updated photos of my Lu! May her smile and sweet spirit bless you today, it sure is what gets me through my day!

Update

I know this is going to sound weird, but after seven weeks of having Lucy... it is finally starting to settle in that  I am a mom. Z and I are actually parents to this amazing little life.  At the same time, I cannot believe that tomorrow she will be seven weeks old (what??)! I am just amazed.  I am just so humbled and that God has blessed us with this little life. I have had so many emotions and thoughts over the past few weeks, and as she gets older and we are getting to know this little life more.... they continue. I am just so amazed that she is ours.

Lucy is one precious little girl. She is starting to recognize me, Z, and giving us smiles out of joy and recognition rather than just gas.  She loves to kick and play on the floor, but loves her cuddles and to be rocked to sleep. Even though these are little things, it is life of a seven week old. So thankful I have time from work to enjoy these weeks with her. She is one special girl and I cannot wait to see the woman that she becomes, but in the meantime I will not take any moment with this little life for granted.

Through the past seven weeks it has brought a challenge/adjustment for Z and I, but as our love for Lu has grown... ours for each other has grown in a different way as well. We make a great time and even though their are moments... I wouldn't change anything for the world. He is a great man and I am so thankful that I get to do life beside him. I am one lucky girl.

I have to say that Baxter, our dog, has really adjusted well to Lu being a part of the family as well. He watches for her, hates when she cries, and is always her protector when she is in the swing or bouncy. He loves being a big brother. I cannot wait until she gets bigger to chase him around the house... so fun.

Well, there is a little update, Lu is starting to stir... time to go do the best job on earth... be a mom! Pictures coming soon.