Double Blessing

Ok, you are probably looking at this blog and just don't understand why I am making all these postings today. Well, life has been crazy busy and I am finally taking the time to catch up while Z is working on his masters classwork. Anyways, on to why I am writing again...

Today was an extra special day. Two of our dear friends were due in February with their third child! That is right. Two of our friends WERE due. I say "were" because they both gave birth TODAY! So exciting and what a blessing. Both couples are near and dear to Z and my's heart for many reasons, but one of these births was extra special, and I shall tell you why!

T & M have been friends to us and inviting us into their family's life from the very beginning. We have the privilege to be in the same town. We have seen their now oldest son grow from a baby to a young boy of almost 5 years of age. We have seen their daughter grow into a spunky almost 3 year old. And now, we see them welcoming their third child. It has been amazing other the past five years all the memories, and tearful moments we have shared. I am so blessed to have these amazing friends and role models in my life, in our life as a couple. I am not great with words, and I just cannot find the right ones to describe these amazing friends!

And so, four months ago, today, we lost a Sam that we loved so dearly and cherished so dearly... words cannot even describe. But now, today... four months later to date... a new Sam has been brought into this world. Samuel is used in the name of our friends little one. I won't say the full name to honor the family's privacy, but how amazing. What a blessing!

My prayer for this "little Sam" is that he may live and strive to be like my brother-in-law Sam was. May his life be not only God honoring, but growing in God and recognizing God in all he does. May his little light shine for the ultimate love of the lord... just like Sam.

This little guy is such a blessing to our friends family, but may our friends now that they are blessing as well and this baby is blessed to have them as parents. Congrats!

(I am hoping to post a picture when we meet the little guy. I was sent some over email, but I just want to respect privacy and post when I have permission.)

Recap of the holiday season

This holiday season was bittersweet. So great to see the family that we did, but oh how we miss Sam. Every moment of the holidays there were constant reminders of him. I guess that is how it will always be. It has been an adjustment getting to a new "normal" since the accident. I keep telling myself I don't have to like it, but just know that it is all in God's plan.


My husband and I have been real searching and getting into the Bible during this time. I think it has challenged us and changed us. I don't think that... I know it. Just yesterday I read a great verse:

"Whoever seeks to preserve this life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it"

Luke 17:33

This has been speaking to me so much. Last night I just laid in bed for a longtime thinking of it. Things of this earth do not matter. Why worry about my clothes, if I am the best knitter/crocheter person, or if I am liked by others. The only thing that matters is that I glorify God and work for his purpose. My challenge has been to reach out to others and challenge them as well. It has been hard to get out of my comfort zone, but oh how I am finding confidence in God!

Anyways... this is supposed to be a recap of the holdiays...lol. I guess I had to just get that off my chest. We hosted our first Christmas Eve at our new house this year. It was a quiet one as some members of our family couldn't make it, but Uncle B and my parents where here. It was so fun to eat ham, watch "Polar Express," and just visit. I love my uncle so much. He is such a kindhearted man. I wish in the past that I got to spend more time with him, but I guess I can change that now. I love my family... I really do. I know we all have our funny things and wierd habbits, but there is nothing like being in a room of people that love you unconditionally. I am so blessed to have them in my life. I am so blessed with each day I get to spend with them... especially at Christmas.

During the holidays I did a lot of projects and crafty things. If you are interested in seeing some of them please visit the page tittled "Knots of Love." I know I am not the best, but a lot of these were gifts and I LOVE making homemade gifts. I pray and think of each person while I am doing it, and I just don't think people give the gift of time anymore.... I want to do that.

This is getting long so I will sign off, but I do want to say that Valentine's Day cookies are coming up YaYa and hopefully more projects. I cannot wait to share them with you.

Welcome Home

We had a great weekend of visitors this past weekend. It was so much fun to actually have space for everyone. I truly felt like a grown up being able to entertain. It was a laid back weekend, but it was full of laughs, conversation, and dancing... yes, there was some dancing.

After the weekend was over I found myself at the kitchen sink doing dishes. We have this plaque on the ledge of our window by the sink. It says, "Home is where your story begins." How true! Here we have this new home and we are ready for our life to begin. It is fun to think about what is to come, and what these walls are going to see over the next several years. Wasn't there a song or something about that; if these walls could talk or something?

Anyways...Z & I look forward to hosting many more weekends like this past and are ready for the new adventure of life to begin for us. Sam will be ever present in our home. I always tell myself that he has the best seat in the universe to see our home. I know he is always looking down on us, cheering us on.

Here are some other photos from the weekend:

A Friendly Thanks

The past few weeks have by no means been easy. I always used and heard the term, "uncharted waters," but I truly know what that feels like now. Z & I are on this journey of sudden loss & grief. Something that we never thought we would go through. Something that we don't want to go through. There is no book, no right or wrong way, and everyone handles it in different ways. This is something that is so hard to go through and communicate about; especially when we are not even two years into our marriage and have not perfected communication about what we are having for dinner!

This is also uncharted waters for me in the fact I am being challenged in my relationship with God in so many ways. I have conversations and challenges on a regular basis. Some of them being so intense I get clammy hands and a racing heart. It is a personal challenge, something that I cannot even explain what it means to me to do be used in God using me to (hopefully) impact those around that I love so dearly for eternity. It is humbling, because what is so special about little ole me? I have realized I need to lead, step up to the challenge and allow God to give me strength, wisdom, and grace. It is hard to deal with pain and reality, but being challenged in this way. But, I need to step up and put insecurities aside.

Thank you my dear friends for allowing me to scramble on these pages today. Thank you for your support, listening ear, and showering of gifts for us. With buying a new house and loosing Sam has come lots of emotions and feelings among Z & me, and you have graciously listened. I know awkward silence is not fun, but thank you for sitting in it for us. Thank you for your hugs and prayers. I (we) are so blessed to have amazing friends and family to be alongside of us. There is just no way or words to express what you mean to us and how we can show our gratitude.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Well, we are slowly but surely getting settled in our home. It has been quite the journey these past two weeks, but it is so obvious that God's grace and blessing is among us.

When we bought the house we felt like it was home from the beginning, but now it is slowly becoming ours. There are many things we enjoy about the house, but I do have some favorites. I will share them, I am sure, as time goes on, but I do have to share my two favorite things with you that are so special and dear to our hearts!

Below are pictures of two new trees that was given to us from Z's school. One tree is an Autumn Blaze, and the other is a Royal Red Maple. They were given to us as a house warming and a memorial for Sam. We will always have Sam with us, and I know one day when kids are here he sure would have loved to play outside in the leaves! The trees were so generous and it is great to think we will have Sam always with us. Thank you Lincoln!

Our house is becoming a home! I cannot wait to share more later!

Sam

This past week we sad goodbye to my husband's younger brother, Sam. Sam went home with the Lord due to an automobile accident in Iowa. He was 20 years of age coming home to be with the people he cherished the most; his family.

The video link is his testimony given through video clips that have been filmed throughout the past year. This was shown at his funeral service. It is so impactful. I admire Sam for his boldness and courage. If he can do that; why can't I? Am I truly living the life God wants me to? Am I doing everything in my power for the glory of God? Do I take everyday for granted when I am unsure if tomorrow exists? If I just had an 1/8 of what Sam had I could be making a difference too, so what am I waiting for?

http://vimeo.com/15751638

His testimony and love for the Lord is an encouragement to me even through all the pain I am baring. There are so many questions, feelings, and fears I have, but I just have to trust in the Lord. I don't have to like his plan right now, but I trust him.

Please pray for Z and his family. Please pray for me as I am grieving myself, but need/want to comfort my family. Z and I are still newlyweds and it is so difficult for me to not being able to take the pain away. I feel helpless, scared, but oh so vulnerable. There are a lot of unknowns, but again.... I trust in him.

Thank you my dear friends for you prayers and grace.