December Blizzard

Well snow sure does seem to be the theme for Minnesota already this winter. This doesn't surprise me. I know from living in the Midwest for close to 15 years now that this is a regular occurrence, but yet us Minnesotans always complain about it; especially the first snow fall. The town we live in seems to be in a bubble (usually). The forecast will be ten to fifteen inches of snow and we never seem to get it, but everyone else does around us. Although, on occasion they are correct and the storm that started last night sure met up to the forecast!

Z and I have been enjoying the blizzard from the view of our comfortable and warm home. We have not gotten the shovels out quite yet. We thought we would wait until tomorrow once the storm passes. We will see how that goes. I must say I thought we should be out there taking turns shoveling so we don't get stuck but I liked the idea too much of baking and cleaning today.

Today was great not to be on a timeline. We had nowhere to be, and no plans so I actually could take my time in cleaning. As I was walking around the house I see the few decorations that we have for Christmas. There are few decorations because we have only been married for a year and a half and just moved from an apartment to a home. There is a theme among these decorations... SNOW!

I have a mug that says, "Let it Snow," and it is my ring tone on my phone. Wow... did I ask for this storm to come by hanging these seasonal items in my home? I guess if the winter continues as it has been with the snow I will think twice before I hang these next year.

As I a rambling on, I am so thankful for the home that we have and that I have shelter over my head and food in my belly. God is so good in providing, and he is ever present in our home and by his beauty of this storm.

Snow Shoveling

Well, with becoming home owners in Minnesota you have to start thinking about snow removal when winter comes around because it is the longest season here! Because we are new home owners and young... we currently are living on a budget. Although we probably could buy a snow blower we decided against it for this year. Besides, every new home owners should have to shovel at least one season to truly appreciate the purchase of a snow blower. Now, this picture only shows my wonderful husband, but believe me... it was a team effort. I was there too! He might not admit it, but I was there too!

Happy winter everyone.

Christmas Time

I will be honest, Thanksgiving was a difficult holiday, but man... there is still so much to be thankful for even though we as a family are grieving the loss of Sam. I have done some baking, and there is more to come, but here are just a few shots of the holidays in our home. We are looking forward to having people over and hosting Christmas at our house this year. It will be fun to celebrate our new home by filling it with the people we love the most.

Welcome Home

We had a great weekend of visitors this past weekend. It was so much fun to actually have space for everyone. I truly felt like a grown up being able to entertain. It was a laid back weekend, but it was full of laughs, conversation, and dancing... yes, there was some dancing.

After the weekend was over I found myself at the kitchen sink doing dishes. We have this plaque on the ledge of our window by the sink. It says, "Home is where your story begins." How true! Here we have this new home and we are ready for our life to begin. It is fun to think about what is to come, and what these walls are going to see over the next several years. Wasn't there a song or something about that; if these walls could talk or something?

Anyways...Z & I look forward to hosting many more weekends like this past and are ready for the new adventure of life to begin for us. Sam will be ever present in our home. I always tell myself that he has the best seat in the universe to see our home. I know he is always looking down on us, cheering us on.

Here are some other photos from the weekend:

A Friendly Thanks

The past few weeks have by no means been easy. I always used and heard the term, "uncharted waters," but I truly know what that feels like now. Z & I are on this journey of sudden loss & grief. Something that we never thought we would go through. Something that we don't want to go through. There is no book, no right or wrong way, and everyone handles it in different ways. This is something that is so hard to go through and communicate about; especially when we are not even two years into our marriage and have not perfected communication about what we are having for dinner!

This is also uncharted waters for me in the fact I am being challenged in my relationship with God in so many ways. I have conversations and challenges on a regular basis. Some of them being so intense I get clammy hands and a racing heart. It is a personal challenge, something that I cannot even explain what it means to me to do be used in God using me to (hopefully) impact those around that I love so dearly for eternity. It is humbling, because what is so special about little ole me? I have realized I need to lead, step up to the challenge and allow God to give me strength, wisdom, and grace. It is hard to deal with pain and reality, but being challenged in this way. But, I need to step up and put insecurities aside.

Thank you my dear friends for allowing me to scramble on these pages today. Thank you for your support, listening ear, and showering of gifts for us. With buying a new house and loosing Sam has come lots of emotions and feelings among Z & me, and you have graciously listened. I know awkward silence is not fun, but thank you for sitting in it for us. Thank you for your hugs and prayers. I (we) are so blessed to have amazing friends and family to be alongside of us. There is just no way or words to express what you mean to us and how we can show our gratitude.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Well, we are slowly but surely getting settled in our home. It has been quite the journey these past two weeks, but it is so obvious that God's grace and blessing is among us.

When we bought the house we felt like it was home from the beginning, but now it is slowly becoming ours. There are many things we enjoy about the house, but I do have some favorites. I will share them, I am sure, as time goes on, but I do have to share my two favorite things with you that are so special and dear to our hearts!

Below are pictures of two new trees that was given to us from Z's school. One tree is an Autumn Blaze, and the other is a Royal Red Maple. They were given to us as a house warming and a memorial for Sam. We will always have Sam with us, and I know one day when kids are here he sure would have loved to play outside in the leaves! The trees were so generous and it is great to think we will have Sam always with us. Thank you Lincoln!

Our house is becoming a home! I cannot wait to share more later!

Sam

This past week we sad goodbye to my husband's younger brother, Sam. Sam went home with the Lord due to an automobile accident in Iowa. He was 20 years of age coming home to be with the people he cherished the most; his family.

The video link is his testimony given through video clips that have been filmed throughout the past year. This was shown at his funeral service. It is so impactful. I admire Sam for his boldness and courage. If he can do that; why can't I? Am I truly living the life God wants me to? Am I doing everything in my power for the glory of God? Do I take everyday for granted when I am unsure if tomorrow exists? If I just had an 1/8 of what Sam had I could be making a difference too, so what am I waiting for?

http://vimeo.com/15751638

His testimony and love for the Lord is an encouragement to me even through all the pain I am baring. There are so many questions, feelings, and fears I have, but I just have to trust in the Lord. I don't have to like his plan right now, but I trust him.

Please pray for Z and his family. Please pray for me as I am grieving myself, but need/want to comfort my family. Z and I are still newlyweds and it is so difficult for me to not being able to take the pain away. I feel helpless, scared, but oh so vulnerable. There are a lot of unknowns, but again.... I trust in him.

Thank you my dear friends for you prayers and grace.

Flood Waters

If you have listened to any kind of news stations of the past few days you have heard about the flooding in Southern Minnesota and right here in Otown.

Thankfully we are ok and so is our family in the area and the new house, but this is not the norm. We were helping some of our friends on Thursday and Friday due to this disaster, and there are many, many more stories like theirs. They are calling this the 500 year flood, and I have never seen anything like it.

In church on Sunday we were reading in Joshua, and it talks about how Joshua is leading and being obedient to God. It is how he told the Israelites to follow the arch covenant. Verse 4 really hit home to me this week,

"Then you will know which way to go , since you have never been there before ...."

God has been in our shoes before. He has faces temptation, anger, fear, and flooding, but we need to follow him, be obedient to him, and acknowledge Christ in all things.... because he has been there before.

I guess this has been my encouragement for me in my personal journey, but also to others who are facing many more effects of the flood. My prayer is for comfort and strength to get through this difficult time. My prayer is that those who have fear would fear in the Lord and nothing else.

Fall Goodies

I love fall! This is my favorite season for so many reasons, and I am sure I will share more as time goes on. One of the reasons I enjoy fall is you can actually enjoy home grown goodies. Now, I cannot take credit for these yummy treats for my gardening skills are not that great. I guess someday they will be, but for now my little basil and mint plants will do.

Anyways, I just had to share where I found my joy today!
Now, off to make that apple pie....

Home Sweet Home

Z & I have bought our first home! I have been debating to post this to wait and make sure everything goes smoothly, but I just can't wait anymore! The thought of owning our own home has been a dream ever since we got married; before that even. With budgeting, planning, prayer, and searching now this dream is coming true!

It is so evident that God's hand was in everything! The way this process has gone so smooth. God has blessed us with a great realtor, great mortgage company broker guy ( I don't know what he is called, but he is great!), and with such a great home! It may not be the biggest house on the block, and it may be too small is some eyes, but its ours!

I am so excited about the little things like mowing lawn, having a dog, decorating, but also about the big things. Big things like having children in the house of our own one day! I am even more excited to know that this is God's house. This house will be founded on God's love. This house will be used for God's ministry.

The whole process has been a whirlwind, and at times I laugh because I do not see myself old enough to have my own house! I have been like Peter Pan in his desire to stay young and not grow up. Now that I am here and get to experience all these "grown up" things; bring it on! I am so excited for the future that God has for Z & I!

Stichin'

I am at the stage in life where all my girlfriends are having babies! What a great joy to bring into the world. Newborns are so innocent, cute, and is exciting to think about what they are going to be when they grow up. What their first words are going to be.

It has been a goal of mine to knit all these new arrivals a gift. I also am becoming a firm believer in handmade gifts. There is something about knowing some one spent so much time in making something for you verses picking something in the store. I know it is not perfect, I know some one out there can do a lot better, but I am proud of my commitment and creations. Besides... the imperfections just add character, right?!?

As I have been making these blankets I have been praying not only for this new blessing to come into the world, but also for the parents. Congrats to you new mothers; well, mothers in general! What an amazing blessing and journey to be on.

I might be a cookie baker by night, but I am a property manager by day for an apartment complex in town. I have gotten to know many of the residents here and it has been so fun! They pay good money to live here and I try to give them the ultimate customer service because they deserve it. Some don't say a thing to me, others are regular visitors, and some are just out right complainers!

The other day I was brought these flowers from a resident that I have gotten to know very well. We started off on the wrong foot when I first came into the position. I think it was mainly because I was a "change" and "new." I finally felt appreciated and welcomed when these flowers arrived! What a great feeling. It is so nice to hear once in a while that you are doing a good job and valued.

Through this whole experience... something so little on her part; it made an impact on me. I realize that I need to let the people I love know that on a regular basis. I need to let the people that I appreciate know that on a regular basis. I also have been reading about prayer in my devotions, and I need to show appreciation to my Heavenly Father for who he is, and for blessing me with little moments of flowers.

We're Gonna Win Twins

This weekend we had some friends from Iowa come up to enjoy the long weekend of Labor Day.
The weekend consisted of shopping, laughing, watching Scrubs, going to a venue with dueling pianos, and of course... a Twins Game. The game was a good one, and of course it was a nail biting ending due to the closing pitches against the Rangers. It was a blast as always, and it was fun to share the day with great friends in Target Field.

It is fun to think how not only how Z's and relationship has gotten stronger our first year of marriage, but also how our relationships with each others' friends have gotten stronger. This group of friends I call my own, and I am so glad that we try to visit on regular basis. I truly am blessed in life to have the amazing friends. I cannot say it enough. I know saying that has become a theme in my blogs, but it is good to be reminded of the little blessings in life.

The Love of a Child; The Love for a Child

The best part of summer is the increase in travel. The best are visits are of family, and to be a visitor to family.

We had the chance to visit with Andrew (our godson) again just a couple of weeks ago. It was so much fun. Those of you who live in Steele County know that the fair is "the place" to spend your time. I am not much of a fair person, but I really enjoyed myself with the family. Andrew is from the city of Chicago so it was so fun to watch and laugh and view the fair in the eyes of a child... what more could you want: food, games, rides, and people watching.

Andrew is such a dear boy, and I cannot wait to hear about the beginning of school and all of his adventures.

I look forward to the day... someday... that Z & I can know the love for a child, our own child. It will come in the Lord's timing, and I am ok with that!

Out East

My husband and I just made it back from the most wonderful trip out east! It was a great time of laughs, conversation, visits to new places, and visits with family.
Because there is so much that I want to share; I will be creating another page with pictures of the trip. For now I will just go over a few highlights.
We started out in Philly to see my twin sister and husband. The weekend went by too fast as well had a great visit. It made me so happy to see them doing so well and happy with their jobs. It made me sad to think that they are no longer a day's drive away from Z & me, but they are across the country; which makes frequent visits hard to do. I guess with each visit our time together will be that more special. I am just fortunate that I can see my sister and we have a great friendship. Some family memebers do not even know what that is or is like.
After Philly we made the drive up to Boston. I was so proud of myself; I drove through NYC! It was crazy, the city was overwhleming, but beautiful at the same time.
Once we reached Boston we got the opprotunity to spend a couple days with D & S (Z's cousin and wife). They have two little boys that are so precious. It was so nice of them to welcome us into their home, and to spend some much overdue time with them. S is such a dedicated mom, and D is a dedicated man to provide for his family.
Throughout our time in Boston we toured Fenway Park, Samuel Adams Brewery, walked the Freedom Trail, saw a theatre production in Boston Common, ate some amazing food, rode on the duck tour boats, and ate some amazing food! It was so much fun just being in this large city and discovering it together as a couple. Part of me thought every couple should go on a trip like this to help learn communication. We had to do alot of it, but it was great, it was teamwork, it was us; together!
After Boston we drove over to Cape Cod and spent time with my cousin and his wife. They have lived in the Cape for just over a year. It was great to get a visit with them as well. It was so fun to walk the beaches, check out the scenery, and just laugh and have a good time.
On the drive home I was a little depressed thinking that I had to go back to my midwest small town. There is a big world, and big cities like Philly and Boston, and I am stuck in little Otown. It is so great to be home, and know that I have family and friends here, but after the trip it got me to thinking... is there something bigger that I am supposed to be a part of? Is this where we are supposed to be? Am I ok with that? I guess all these questions are good ones to truly challenge myself to live each day to the fullest. I also just need to trust in God and have condifence in his plan even that it is totally an unknown plan to me. Maybe this little midwestern town is where I am supposed to be; I need to be okay with that.

Knots of Love

I don't know about you, but one of my favorite things is listening to people talk about their days at work (it has to been in a different profession than me; if it is the same it just feels like another day at work.) I like hearing about what trials they face, what makes them laugh, and I especially love hearing about people... it just confirms how God creates us all so different!

Anyways... as I have stated before B, my sister-in-law has been here all summer for a clinical as she continues down the road in PT school. It has been so much fun hearing about her experience! I am so thankful that she has enjoyed this experience, and just how passionate she has become! Hearing different stories not only make me appreciate the health and life I have, but also become more aware of what others may be facing.

Through her experience here in Otown she has gained an appreciation for her mentor, J. I have never met him, but seems like a great doctor, great husband, and one amazing dad of three.B appreciates J's willingness to teach and just being real with her. I think it is going to be an adjustment for B, but I know they will keep in touch.

B wanted to do something special for J and she came up with the idea last week to do a knit/crochet combo of hats to give for J's three little girls as a thank you gift. This is what we came up with:

This was our first hat... I think it turned out well. The strip was crocheted to add length to the hat, but it turned out well. This was the first time I tried crocheting flowers although the pattern has been in my bag for years!

This was hat #2. The flowers got better as we went. I love how each hat is so different, but I think oh-so-cute!

And here is the final hat (I think this is my favorite one). I don't think the pictures do it justice... if you don't mind me saying so... they are cute!

I hope that J knows that there was a lot of love put into those knots...knots of love! Thanks Bre for letting me join in on the project, so fun!

Andrew

On our list of travels this summer; one of our weekends was to be spent in Chicago with family. This past weekend was not the typical family visit, but it was to support our godson Andrew and his baptism.

Andrew is my cousin's son. He is such a bundle of energy just like any other five year old. His love for trains and legos is beyond belief! Just being able to watch him grow, and become the bright young man he is has been a great journey.

As the pastor was talking during the baptism, I realized that there is a greater journey that I need to be a part of. It is being a support, and encourager in his faith. It is our job as godparents to help raise this young, amazing boy to know the Lord.

My hope for him; my prayer for him, is that he will allow God into his heart. That all that energy will one day be to share and spread God's love. May he know the ultimate love the out heavenly Father has for each one of us.

Love you Andrew!

The 4th of July

It has become a tradition for Z and I to enjoy a short trip down to Milwaukee, WI to visit with my uncle... also known as UB! He is such a generous man and would do anything for anyone.... especially his family. It has been so fun to look back on pictures and see everything that UB has been a part of in my life. Memories like high school graduations, weddings, crazy monopoly games, and even just a simple visit over a weekend to see a production that my mom is a part of.

This weekend was special even if the traditional monopoly game was not played. It just was time where all of us could relax and enjoy each other. It was a little different this year as some family members are no longer with us or present, but it did not keep us from having a good time. We celebrated by going sailing on Lake Michigan, watching fireworks, and participating in the most amazing food in WI!

As we celebrated as a family I realized, once again, how precious the gift of family can be. How fortunate we are that we can get together. How some families celebrate without loved ones because they are currently in the service or have lost loved ones due to their duties. I just want to say thanks to the men and women that serve that allow this precious gift of time and family to be enjoyed by many...including me.

Cinderella, Cinderella

Like I stated in my previous blog; my mother was in the musical Cinderella here at local theatre group. She was fantastic, hilarious, and talented! The whole cast was amazing and did a wonderful job in this production.

My mom has been involved in theatre for several years now, and I have been to several plays and musicals. I am just in awe of the time commitment that these volunteers give to the theatre!

There is something special and unique about live theatre. If a mistake is made like a missed cue or fall; there is an art to cover it up so those of us in the audience have no idea.

Thank you actors and actresses for your talents and dedication, and thank you mom for making me laugh! It is so great to see you in these productions. I am so happy that you are finally taking the time to do something you enjoy after putting your desires aside to help provide for my sister and I! I cannot wait until the next performance.

Happy (belated) Father's Day

This summer has been crazy so far, and it is only June! It has been filled with family and friends so I cannot complain. If I would choose to be busy, it would be with them!
As Father's Day has come and gone, I have two thoughts over the past couple of weeks.

Thought #1
I heard a quote this week, "You never know when you are making a memory." -Rickie Lee Jones. (Thanks Kris for posting that on Facebook!). Throughout Father's Day weekend, and then hearing this quote; it makes me realize how fortunate I am to have my family close by. To just relax and laugh with my family. I am so thankful I have amazing relationships with each and everyone of them! I think we take our time for granted so much, so often. Who knows when the Lord may call one of us home, or move away (miss you Val and John). I hope we all take a little more time to appreciate this incredible gift!

Thought #2
I was walking with my buddy...Bre this week. This is Z's sister who is here for the summer as she is completing a clinical rotation for Physical Therapy (Go Dr. Bre!). It has been a joy having her here. I love our walks & talks that go along with it!
As we were walking yesterday we were talking about family, and just how blessed we are that we all get along so well. I always love getting the updates about my parents because I am no longer in the house and do not get to see them day to day. I especially love hearing about conversations that she has with my father.
I love both of my parents dearly, but there is something about a love I have for my dad. He is a provider, comforter, and friend. He is my everyday hero. When I got married to Z it was the best day of my life, but now I understand the "giving away" piece during the ceremony. My dad and I used to have long talks on the deck about life, jokes, and people. We would talk money, school, and cars. He would guide me, and help me make decisions, but now I have Z to do that with me. My dad gave that piece away... in a way... I did too. It has been a hard transition. There have been many times I pick up the phone to ask a question, and then hang it up. I now know... Z is my go-to-guy. The one I need to ask. I have sat many Saturday mornings wanting to run over to my parents' house to sit on the deck and watch the birds, or help with a project. I am not saying I will never call my dad for advice, or never work on projects with my dad, but it is hard not being able to just go over and be there with him and my mom.
I love my father so much and what he has done for me personally and my family. So, even though Father's Day has come and gone.. I celebrate you Dad. Your strength, wisdom, humor, and love you share. Thank you for being there for me always. I love you.

Happy Anniversary

Z and I have celebrated one year of marriage this week. What a year! It has been a year of celebration, tears, adjustments, and well... more adjustments! I never knew that marriage was so much work.
Z is my Prince Charming, and for the longest time I could not figure how he couldn't use his magical powers to read my mind, to know what annoyed me, what I wanted for dinner, or just know when I needed time to myself. I seriously thought that he could pick up on things like this, but of course...reality... I don't think so!
As much as I wanted him to have these special powers... SUPRISE... he did not. As much as I wish he did have these skills; there is something great about a relationship where you can let your walls down, and speak your mind freely. A relationship where no judgements are casted. A relationship where it is safe to say "no," and know that he will still have a friend the next morning.
I never was that person that spoke my mind about the little things. I still have a lot of growing to do in this area. I am a people pleaser at heart, but Z has taught me to say what is on my mind and share my opinion. So, maybe Prince Charming does have special powers... skills that help me become confident and comfortable in my own skin and in our relationship.
The first year of marriage has been a great one, and I only hope that God will allow Z and me to share many more together. I look forward to the journey that is ahead for us and all that is to come.

For the love of... Family

This past weekend was Memorial Day weekend. The Minnesota weather was picture perfect (for once... I know!). It was a great weekend of family and friends. I am so thankful for the family I have, the different journeys we have shared, and the meanings they have in my life. There is so much beauty in everyone! Everyone has different qualities, characteristics, and personalities that are unique. Sometimes they want to make you cringe with jealousy, but at the same time stare at them akwardly in awe of God's work!
At one point, I found myself listening the circle of women of family and friends talking about pregnancy. This is usually a conversation that I dread listening to. It is nothing against the women, but those of you who are reading this, and are in the same situation as myself; you know what I am talking about. It is tough being a newlywed wanting children someday, but knowing now is not the time. Although you wish it was time because everyone else seems to think it is time!!
This conversation was different. Usually the details and topics make my stomach ache, but I found myself smiling at the thought of new life. How exciting to think God has a plan for that little life. God has a purpose for that life. I couldn't help but think of all the excitement that a new life has to bring, especially for the soon-to-be mother. This little life is going to be brought into a world of all these amazing people. How lucky am I to share in that joy, and be a part of their lives.
I guess when I find myself in women's circle once again this "ahhh haa" moment will be remembered. Who knows...I probably be one of those talkative women when our little one is on the way... someday.

The Start

Today is my first day on the job... as a blogger anyways. I sometimes wonder why I am doing this. Is it to follow the trend among my friends? Why would anyone want to read my journey? How am I going to keep this up?
I am not a new mom, have amazing talents, or a rock star, but I find the journeys of those who have those qualities are just as interesting to read about as those of us who do not. We all have qualities and journeys that are worth sharing and writing about.
So, here is to my attempt of being a blogger. I look forward to documenting my cookies, my love, and well... my life.